The Fantastic Four

I never knew the depth to which your heart can hurt for another. But today, my heart hurts. I think what makes it hurt even more is that physically there is nothing I can do.

My first instinct is to come out with the gloves off. It's to defend those I love to whatever point needed. I know that growing up is hard, that life must take its course in each of our lives, but WHY must there be bumps? Why can't I go before and level out those bumps, build up those valleys, soften the blows that may drop?

My niece the other day told someone that she was going to punch them in the face! It wasn't just out of spite, you know, she was defending her friend. That little girl-we have a lot in common! It makes my day when I ask her who my favorite niece is in the whole wide world-and she says, "ME!" She will never know!!!!!!

One nephew, well, that boy, he's the most tenderhearted scrapper I've ever met. We are alot alike, tenderhearted, but scrappy, and so confused about who we TRULY are. He gives EVERYTHING he's got to whatever he does, his loyalty is so fierce, it's almost a fault. It makes my day when states that something I am wearing, from my hat, to my shirt, to my shoes, is cool!

My other nephew, well, he's growing up. He is slowly, day by day, becoming a man. How complicated that can be at times. He often reminds me of Jake, he is not aggressive, he's not quick, but he's constant, and it makes my day when he wraps his arms around me, and tells me that he loves me!

I have started referring to us as the Fantastic Four! We got each other's back no matter what it costs us personally!

But today, even among the Fantastic Four, things aren't so fantastic, but, that's ok....for today. For today, their hearts hurt, and for them-so does mine.

A Few Bugs in the Process

Tonight Jake and I sat at the table. He reading while I worked on business work. I was working specifically on some content. I had reached a stopping point, so I turned to him to read over my work and critique.

BREAK-------

We have recently have a SERIOUSLY bug/knat problem. Apparently our house is pretty popular........among the bug population. We can come home or open our door to find a massive herd/flock/school/group (what do you call a congregation of the same time of bug?) gathered on our screen door and around the door frame. Jake occasionally tries to leave the door open with our little pesky friends present. As a result I often find the little creatures wandering around in my house-only to meet their doom under my heavy hand.

BREAK------

"It's horrible," he says. My mouth drops, and he laughs. "It's not horrible, it's just not the right thing, keep trying." Then he begins to type. So I look down and discover one of our little friends wandering around on my laptop. "SEE," I say, that is what happens when you leave the door open.

He then, promptly, flicked the bug at me. I began to thrash around, hoping to rid my hair or self of the bug, not being exactly sure where it was located. Jake laughed, I got mad, then laughed, and he says, "WAIT, smile." So I did, begrudginly and immediately wiped my teeth with my finger, and there.......THERE were the remains of what was once a very live bug.

ONLY US!

Love is a Battlefield

So, as of this week Jake and I have discovered a new passion, along with a new form to settle any "heated discussions" we may have!

A couple weeks ago, we sold the Wii Fit. We hadn't really used it, and I was a bit disappointed anyway. Apparently I had great hopes for it SOMEDAY!! You know, I was going to spend HOURS on it and use it for future clients....

So of course, Jake always has a plan. Never fear, there was a motive behind the sold Wii Fit. It was called Wii Sports Resort! I wasn't all that excited, we had another Wii sports game, and I wasn't really into it that much.

A week went by, and the new game wasn't touched. Mostly because things get crazy soo easily!! Well, on Tuesday, for some odd reason, Jake and I had a free night together!!! So, after lightly arguing (bear with us, it's just a natural part of our marriage!), we finally got downstairs to the Wii.

First, let me begin with what we were arguing about. Jake wanted to read his book-may I point out that his nose has been stuck in that book NONSTOP!! I wanted some non-book involving attention. So he suggested the Wii. "Let me finish this chapter, and I will be down in 10 minutes, go ahead and go on downstairs," he says.

THIRTY MINUTES later I marched upstairs to find him still reading THAT BOOK. I then stated I didn't want to play the ANYMORE!!! I had wanted to play it THRITY MINUTES AGO!!! Well, he tried to make it all better by being Mr. Peachy, MR. Nice-guy, and all that. I didn't buy it! So finally, I marched off, stewed, and then came back and said, "I'm ready now!"

So downstairs we went. We turned on the Wii Sports Resort and up came a MYRIAD of game choices!!! We started out with the one that probably made me a HUGE fan of this game!!! We played swordfighting. I bashed, and hit, and charge and came down hard on Jake with my sword, each swing delivering the RAGE I felt over being stood up! By the end of the game, I was sweating, and had lost, and said, "We should really use this to settle our disputes, this is GREAT"

HealthCore: Living Life to the Fittest

This is the name of the next phase of my life. I am embracing it with all the energy, love and passion I have! It is an exciting time in my life, and one that offers endless opportunities.

It is humbling to think of the people who have supported me along the way. The main one, would be my husband. Thank you for believing in me, thank for you letting me pursue my dreams!!

My website is coming soon-but I am currently taking clients!! :P

Changes Are Coming

Well, I have written before on this blog about the changes that come with fall, how it's a representation of life and so on. But this year, the changing season, the changing weather, and the changing leaves truly are a sign of changes to come.

For quite a while now, I have kept what I am about to share to myself. It has been hard to keep something quiet that you are passionate about, that is some of what makes you you! So here goes folks!

Yesterday I informed my bosses that October 30th would be my last day. I am a certified personal trainer and I have started my own personal training business. Starting in November will devote my full attention to growing my business! It is a dream come true. I cannot imagine my life without health and fitness, with out having the opportunity to make a difference in someone's lives through these two avenues.

In the next few days I will share a bit more about my personal training business. But for today, I am sitting back and enjoying the excitement and nervous anticipation that comes with stepping out of the comfort zone and into my dream world!

My Forever + Your Forever = Our Forever

Forever is a word that reaches outside of time, outside of hours, minutes and seconds. It's very definition is "for a limitless time." But, I never before thought to consider what "my forever" is. I can't have a forever that carries the meaning of it's definition-I am not limitless.

So, what do I mean by "my forever?" Well, when I put "my" in front of forever, I limit forever. I mean, "my forever" means that I (me) had a beginning and I have an end to my life, to my time here on this earth.

I used to think that you can't promise to be with someone forever, to love them forever, to (fill in the blank) forever. But I just realized, I can promise them my forever. And that is what I promise the one who loves me most, the one I love the most in this life. I promise to love him for "my forever," I promise to stay with him for "my forever." I promise to give him everything that "my forever" can possibly encompass.

On May 31st, I made a commitment that promised Jake "my forever." On May 31st, "my forever" became "our forever." And with all the rough times, the memories, the great times I wouldn't change a thing. Do you ever experience those moments where for a split second you TRULY FEEL the depth to which you love that person. It's almost overwhelming. I get those moments in life, and last night was one of those times!!!

It's like you get that chance for just a moment to ACTUALLY FEEL love, it's like you get to experience it in that raw form. I cannot explain the feeling that comes over my heart any other way than to say that the phrase "I feel like my heart will burst" is almost a reality at those moments.

And those moments make me realize that I want "our forever" to count EVERY second of every day. Because "my forever" means nothing without "your forever!"

I love you Jake, and I will love you forever!

Faith is All I Have

It has been a week of difficulties for those in my life I love most. Sometimes I wonder why God allows these things to happen to those I love, and yet I seem to be spared.

I have complained over and over about the things that have happened in my life, what I consider hardships. But, in the scheme of things, are they really hardships? I admit, the situations in my life I could appropriately term as difficult, as hard to swallow, but I do not face a certain UNcertainty about tomorrow, I do not know what it is to feel abandoned by the one you love most. I do not know what it is to be separated from your child for days, or to try to hold a family together while wondering what the next year will bring. I do not know what it is to experience news that causes life to become suddenly clearer.

What I do know is that heartbreak is hard to bear, and that it is almost as hard to be the one to sit by and watch. My heart aches for them, and it aches even more knowing that I can do nothing to change their situation. All I can do is be there, all I can do is encourage and love and pray.

Humans are not one to favor inactivity, but sometimes it is the only choice we have to choose. As I watched those around me hurt, I felt anew the feeling of helplessness. It was frustrating and sometimes angered me, but then I realized that it is my faith and prayers that will be the most effective, it is my love, my feeling for them that will be the most useful to them.

As I came to terms with that, I was then greeted this morning with the following quote: "Faith is a cop-out. If the only way you can accept an assertion is by faith, then you are conceding that it can’t be taken on its own merits." -Dan Barker

Faith is a cop-out? How is faith a cop-out? Sometimes it requires believing in something bigger than me to get through my day, it requires believing that something and someone can change these people's lives. It takes faith and hope to believe that God loves those that I love, and has the power to perform a miracle.

Sometimes, simply put-FAITH IS ALL I HAVE!